Self compassion: You ain’t the only one.
I’ve been told that I’m a caring person (Family/clients and friends say so 🤪). Sometimes for the greater good, sometimes to my detriment.
Dr. Kristin Kneff: “We are always mercilessly judging and criticizing ourselves. Judgement can come from inadequacies and shortcomings.”
I’ve spoken a lot, in the past, about mindfulness. But, never how it relates to ourselves. We are mindful of other people but rarely do we dig deep enough into our well-being. This is so great from Dr. Kneff: Imagine that your best friend calls you after she just got dumped by her partner, and this is how the conversation goes.
“Hey,” you say, picking up the phone. “How are you?”
“Terrible,” she says, choking back tears. “You know that guy Michael I’ve been dating? Well, he’s the first man I’ve been excited about since my divorce. Last night he told me that I was putting too much pressure on him and that he just wants to be friends. I’m devastated.”
You sigh and say, “Well, to be perfectly honest, it’s probably because you’re old, ugly, and boring, not to mention needy and dependent. And you’re at least 20 pounds overweight, your clothes don’t fit, and your hair is turning gray. I’d just give up now because there’s no hope of finding anyone who will ever love you. I mean, frankly, you don’t deserve it!”
Would you ever talk this way to someone you cared about? Of course not. But strangely, this is precisely the type of thing we say to ourselves in such situations—or worse.
I SO DID THAT! Do you? I have figured out, over the past 5 years, to learn how to take care of myself, as well as others. I, however, am guilty of putting others first, but I try hard to be mindful enough to take care of myself. If I don’t things get out of balance and..well…things get out of balance in a vert poor way.
Is this you? It’s ok if it is. I’m taking a 31-day challenge from Insight Timer. Today’s was about Self Compassion. Give it a listen if you like!
You’re not selfish for taking care of you.
Tailwinds,
Chad