You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. - Indira Ghandi
Boy was I clenched back in the day: Tibetan Plateau, China
“The Story” or the “About” post yesterday was a true sense of grasping who I am. I’m not going to make every blog post about feelings or squishy, deep thoughts. I will, however, dive into my past, occasionally, and what the future holds. I will talk about how the past has charted a course for me that was unfathomable years ago, but the reality is, “it is what it is”.
“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist” means so much to me now. I wanted so hard, in my 30’s and 40’s, to become super successful. I wanted so badly, in my 30’s and 40’s, to have all the answers. I held everything tight. Close to the vest. Clenched. That was the way you run the business. Commentate. Have relationships. Outwardly I had a vibe of openness, transparency, and control. In reality, I didn’t have any of it.
It translated to my cycling, my commentary, my business, and my wellness. I treated myself with a clenched fist. Would I show some, any, vulnerability?….Haha HELL NO! Was it a bad thing that I kept a tight ship internally and je ne sais quoi exterior? Likely not. Here’s what I do know:
The bicycle, or a sport, should never define you. I let it. If it didn’t reach my expectations, I failed myself and the business. I let it define ME! Not anymore. Sport is a release, it’s fun. It’s healthy. It shouldn’t be treated with a puckered ass. (Yes, getting on the podium is fun as hell though)
Work should not define you. This is coming from a successful and failed businessman. Give yourself a break when things go sideways. After all, the best have failed time and again. In my opinion, work and entrepreneurship should complement you, not define you.
Relationships SHOULD define you. Relationships shouldn’t be treated with a clenched fist. This is where I failed. I’m sure you have too. A ratio measures the size of something relative to the size of something else only. 50/50 isn’t the same as 100/100 . I thought I was supposed to give 50%. Nope. You both give 100%.
I struggled with internal clenching. It’s ok. It’s natural. But it is also detrimental. Today, I’m all about the 🤝. I still may pucker a bit, but more than likely, I will take a deep breath and “just chill” and escape “fear”.
Tailwinds,
Chad